What gives me JOY!

Nathaniel played his first flag football game yesterday! His team won but I think that he would have just as much joy by just playing. He tried baseball/tee-ball for the last 2 years and I never did see the spark in his eyes as I do with football!

It makes me realize how much God delights in my joy. I’m sure He has watched me for years struggle through jobs and volunteer work that I did because I was ‘supposed’ to do it to be a successful woman. When, in fact, it brought him sorrow to see me struggle through a false identity until I broke through into the real me.

An example of this would be how I parented. I used to think I was a worthless Mom who would end up being the kind of Mom you could hardly wait to go to college to get away from. I compared myself to other women and the thoughts that went through my head went like this: “I should bake more, good moms love to bake cookies and make desserts for their kids,” “I should want to be on the floor making car noises with my son, good moms always play with their kids,” “I really should be okay with my daughter making a complete mess on the kitchen table for her craft a half an hour before dinner.” You can see the list would go on and on. Now, in the midst of this dialogue were also nuggets of truth. Another thought in my head: “A good mom would never yell at her children” The truth here is that I did have a problem with my anger. The lie was that I should never lose my temper. So when I teased out the truth, confessed the part I was doing wrong, always yelling and harsh, and asked God to help me find a way to be a better mom, he brought to my life women, who became good friends, who taught me by example how to be a gentle mom, even a mom who could gently correct her kids.

Along with that triumph came the reality that I am good at tickling, teasing, talking, snuggling, believing, and dreaming with my kids. That’s what makes me a good mom. Every once in a while I make myself set aside what I am doing and go and throw a softball or Frisbee, accept instruction on how to throw a football, or play the “Old McDonald” game with my two year old for the 20,000th time. But that is still not what makes me a good mom. What makes me a great mom is that I am the best at being the kind of mom God made me to be.

What brought me the most joy was seeing my son excel at a game he was built for. I think God’s heart is full of joy when He sees me doing what he made me to do!