FEAR!!!

I heard a conversation on The Way FM radio station (89.7 for those of you in Denver). They were discussing a comment by a listener. She is 9 months pregnant and has a fear about her baby being unattractive. She was concerned if this was normal or just her being shallow.

I thought about that for a while. At first I didn't relate, because I never had that specific fear with my children but I can tell you that FEAR is a base reaction to being a mother. After a while, I began to think; "Maybe that mom experienced excruiciating rejection because she did not feel that she was attractive." We never know where the fears originate but I am certain that fear can get a stronghold on you the moment you realize you are going to be a mom.

This Friday my youngest one is going in for an MRI. She has had 4 known episodes of dizzy spells that effect her to the point of falling completely to the ground (highly unusual in a busy little 3 year old.) Of course they are running the MRI to rule out a tumor.

It's funny that some things you should fear seem to have no foothold. I actually have a lot of peace that we are not dealing with a brain tumor. HOWEVER, I hate the idea that she will have to have general anesthesia for this procedure. Now THAT SCARES ME!!!

The worst part of fear is that it paralizes me from action. Fear becomes a prison in which I sit and rot in the festering possibilities with bars on the windows of hope.

Well, tonight I face my giant of fear and take action in prayer. God is in, around and working through all things and He will be fully present in every heart beat of Lydia throughout this procedure, on her way out of anesthesia and during our day. I will let you know how I, as a mom, fare while staring my fear down!